Sometimes, when I feel like cutting myself, I go to the San Francisco Zoo instead. Depressing people since it was built in the 1930s, the SF Zoo is littered with sad looking animals. They’re strewn about haphazardly, as though Noah’s Ark exploded in the Pacific and deposited them with copious debris just past the Great Highway. Oh, and just before exploding, the Ark’s supply of barbiturates leaked into the animals’ water. And Noah walked around beating them with a club. And they hadn’t pumped the pit toilet for weeks.
Most of the poor animals had passed out, or were just lying on the ground—unable to sleep.
Those that hadn’t succumbed to drowsiness stared vacantly, waiting for food or death—whichever comes at 3PM.
Were it not for the hordes of monkeys, munching popcorn and tromping through the park with their screaming children, the SF Zoo would be a very quiet, still place. The animals themselves don’t move much, though I suppose it can’t be considered sloth when you’re brain dead.
It is unfortunate that the SF Zoo is so sad and generally decrepit. With just a bit more upkeep and better animal handling, it could be a beautiful destination in the middle of a fascinating city. As it is now, the only thing that keeps me coming back is the world’s largest gerbil.
I’m surprised they keep that there, what with all of the perverted celebrities running loose.
Tags: animals, depression, gerbil, sad, World's Largest Gerbil, zoo
thats a capybara not a gerbil dumbass.
Dude, I went to this wildlife ranch over spring break and they had one of these there. And they told us it was ‘the world’s largest gerbil’. It’s name was like Princess or Priscilla or some other ridiculous name that starts with a ‘P’. She looked pretty pissed off too. I THINK THEY’RE RELATED.
But yeah. All of these dumbs posting on here and complaining that it’s not a gerbil need to get a brain.
P.S. I love how everyone repeats the same thing in their comments.
“DOOOD ITS NT UH GURBUL ITS UH FCKIN WOMBAT CAPYBEARA NOT RODNT TING. GIT IT RIHT.”
Damn, that is a *huge* gerbil! That gerbil is so big!
I bet that gerbil takes up 1000 megabits of internet space, even on fiber optics!
capybara dumbasses. i live in australia and even i know that. god you people are freaks
Firstly gerbils have tails, secondly they only get to be about 7-9inches long including their TAILS and they come from Northern Africa – the DESERT. It’s a nice poem I guess, but it’s a bloody Capybara. And to Ms. ‘Someone named Holly’, You’re making yourself look more stupid by saying that people who comment on it not being a gerbil are wrong. Read a book will you, or better yet, google ‘Gerbil’ and see what comes up on the images.
*Gerbil my ass*
and just to clarify http://www.rebsig.com/capybara/... Capybaras are the world’s largest Rodents.
Out
Dear “I have a gerbil”,
I’d be happy to gerbil your ass. Please send along your contact info.